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From our earliest years, we are subtly taught that sexuality, our bodies, and even topics like menstruation are subjects to be avoided in conversation.
This begins with the euphemistic language parents use for our anatomy, a well-intentioned but misguided attempt to protect our innocence. This avoidance does not safeguard but rather stigmatizes a natural aspect of human identity, fostering discomfort and potential shame. This shame can compromise our safety, as it hinders our ability to communicate personal boundaries or report misconduct.
Our education often compounds this issue by focusing on the negative outcomes of sexual activity—like STIs and unintended pregnancies—rather than fostering a comprehensive understanding of intimacy, consent, and relationship dynamics.
Even when educational institutions attempt to address these topics, such as through consent education programs, the foundation laid is often insufficient, leaving young adults unprepared for the realities of consensual and pleasurable sexual relationships.
As adults, this upbringing leaves many struggling to discuss sexual health openly, even with healthcare providers or close peers. The silence perpetuated through our formative years manifests as embarrassment and fear of judgment in our adult lives, affecting the quality and enjoyment of our intimate relationships.
Our reluctance to communicate desires and boundaries can lead to unsatisfactory sexual experiences and missed opportunities for pleasure. Moreover, it can result in engaging in sexual activities that do not align with our true wants or needs—not out of coercion but due to a lack of open dialogue about preferences.
The silence surrounding sex is counterproductive, as it both isolates us and deprives us of fulfilling sexual experiences that contribute to our overall well-being.
While we cannot rewrite our past experiences, we are not without the power to transform our relationship with sexuality.
Self-exploration, body positivity initiatives, and educational resources like Guerrilla Sex Ed provide avenues to break free from the constraints of our upbringing. Learning about what brings us pleasure, whether through personal discovery or resources like OMGyes, can enrich our sexual experiences.
Open discussion with partners about sexual preferences is crucial. By engaging in honest conversations, we can elevate our sex lives, focusing on shared desires and experiences rather than dwelling on past encounters.
Though many of us grew up internalizing the notion that sex is a topic to be shrouded in secrecy, we are capable of rewriting our scripts to embrace a healthier, more open perspective on sexuality.