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Please be advised, this article discusses sensitive topics such as sexual assault and violence which might be distressing for some readers. If you or someone you know requires assistance, organizations like RAINN offer support.
The tragic case of Sarah Everard, who was abducted and murdered in March, ignited a global conversation about gendered violence. Countless individuals took to the internet to share their experiences, challenging the belief that victims should prevent their own assaults by adhering to societal 'rules.'
Despite these conversations, a staggering statistic from the World Health Organization reveals that 1 in 3 women, which equates to approximately 736 million, endure physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or non-partner. This figure has not seen significant change over the past decade, highlighting a persistent global issue.
Survivors of such violence can face profound effects on their sexual well-being and identity.
It's critical to acknowledge the unique ways individuals process sexual trauma. While some may resume sexual activities relatively quickly post-trauma, others may need more time to heal. Neither response merits judgement or shame.
In this article, we'll explore how trauma can specifically influence one's sexuality and offer guidance for survivors looking to heal and reconnect with their sexual selves.
Sexual trauma can manifest in various ways, impacting survivors' lives and relationships:
Healing from sexual trauma is deeply personal and varies from one individual to another. Kai Werder, a sex educator and healing practitioner, emphasizes that while certain activities like exercise or body movement can be beneficial, as they help release trauma stored in the body, what aids one person might not suit another. Somatic practices, such as trauma-informed yoga and mindful movement, are examples of techniques that strengthen the mind-body connection and can play a significant role in recovery.
Other healing strategies include talk therapy, connecting with nature, learning about trauma, participating in support groups, and exploring sexual pleasure on one's own terms. It's important to approach the healing process with patience and self-compassion, as it is not a linear journey.
For those ready to rekindle their sexuality, Werder suggests starting with simple pleasures like bubble baths or nature walks, while practicing mindfulness. Self-exploration is a gentle way to reintroduce sexual touch, with the ability to pause if discomfort arises.
When progressing to partnered sex, communication about consent, boundaries, and desires is paramount. Disclosure of trauma to a partner is a personal choice, and clear communication can help establish a supportive and safe sexual experience.
Having a trigger plan can be beneficial, as it outlines personal needs and ways a partner can assist during moments of being triggered. Werder also highlights the importance of aftercare, a concept from the BDSM community that involves activities to help partners transition out of the sexual experience and process it together.
For partners of survivors, understanding that triggers are not personal and ensuring you have your own support system is crucial in managing any secondary trauma.
Survivors and their partners seeking additional resources can turn to their state's Coalition Against Sexual Assault for guidance towards local services including hotlines, support groups, and counseling.