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Dishing Out Desire: The Essential Guide to Creating a Sex Menu

Author: Emma Aguon Published at: Mar, 10 2024 Hits: 60

Whether you're exploring new connections or deepening long-standing ones, open sexual dialogue is the bedrock of intimacy. This holds especially true in relationships that play with dominant/submissive dynamics. Yet, for many, candid sex talk—even within enduring partnerships—remains a tough nut to crack. Today, we're serving up a solution: the sex menu. We'll delve into what a sex menu is, how it enriches your sexual discourse, and how to whip one up for a tastier sex life. So, let's set the table for a feast of pleasure possibilities!

What is a sex menu?

Don't let the playful name fool you; a sex menu is a comprehensive catalog of your sexual tastes and BDSM interests. It's a tool for partners to individually rate their eagerness for various activities, sifting through mutual no-gos, aligning on shared desires, and possibly uncovering new shared curiosities. Often crafted as a spreadsheet—a nod to practicality—sex menus ease the sorting process, and you can easily find templates online to get started.

4 Delicious Benefits of a Sex Menu

Why bother with a sex menu when you could just chat about sex? Well, verbalizing sexual desires isn't everyone's forte. A sex menu clearly outlines each tantalizing act that might tickle your fancy or your partner's. Here are four appetizing benefits of crafting your own Sex Menu.

1. Communication Made Easy

Communication is the secret sauce of any sexual relationship, particularly those spiced up by the dom/sub dynamic. But for many, discussing sex feels like walking on eggshells—awkwardness, fear of judgment, and societal gender narratives can stifle open conversation. A sex menu, particularly one built on an existing template, can help bridge the communication gap and lessen the stigma, opening the door to a world of new experiences and mutual understanding.

2. A Buffet of New Experiences

A sex menu presents a smorgasbord of sexual endeavors that might be novel to one or both partners. This is not only thrilling for BDSM newcomers but also for anyone looking to expand their sexual palate. Take the opportunity to research and learn about unfamiliar items on the menu. Whether it leads to trying something new or reinforcing a boundary, your sexual repertoire will be all the richer.

3. Building Trust

Trust is the main ingredient in any sexual recipe, and in BDSM's more intense dishes, it's crucial. The community mantra of SSC—Safe, Sane, and Consensual—highlights this. A sex menu can aid in laying down the groundwork for trust by fostering open, honest, and explicit communication. It's a written declaration of "I'm into this," allowing for discussion and ongoing consent, ensuring your encounters remain SSC.

4. Safe Play

Opt for a sex menu template with room to communicate medical conditions or allergies. In the heat of BDSM play, you'll want to avoid any unexpected reactions or injuries. A sex menu not only aligns consent and emotional safety but also provides a platform for addressing physical safety—there's no downside to being over-prepared. And don't forget to include any aftercare needs!

Whipping Up Your Own Sex Menu

Eager to create your sex menu? There's no need to start from scratch—templates abound online, ready to customize and share. Here's how to structure your menu:

Sections

Most sex menus feature four main sections:

  • Column 1: A list of sexual activities and toys
  • Column 2: Your interest rating for each
  • Column 3: Notes to elaborate on your ratings
  • Bottom: Space for medical info, limits, aftercare preferences, etc.

Scoring

There are various ways to score your interests. Here are a couple of popular methods:

  • Traffic light (or "yes, no, maybe"):
    • Green for YES
    • Yellow for curious/unsure
    • Red for NO
  • 1 to 5 scale:
    • 1 for NO
    • 2 for not now
    • 3 for ambivalent
    • 4 for curious
    • 5 for eager

Feel free to create a scale that feels most natural for your conversation.

Things to Savor When Making a Sex Menu

As you prepare to fill out your menu, keep these morsels in mind:

  • Fill it out solo to avoid pressure
  • Be truthful—honesty is the only way to truly satisfy your cravings
  • Focus on your preferences—this isn't about pleasing others
  • Have fun—this is about enhancing your sexual enjoyment

Once You've Crafted Your Sex Menu

With your menu complete, it's time for a heart-to-heart. Choose a neutral space free from distractions to discuss your findings. Remember, differing interests are normal—stay open and curious. Revisit your menus occasionally to check if tastes have changed and ensure you're still on the same delicious page.

In Conclusion

A sex menu is an invaluable tool for kindling conversation, ensuring safe play, and guaranteeing that everyone's desires are met, whether in casual dating or a dedicated dom/sub dynamic. Approach it with an open mind and a dash of playfulness, and you'll find yourselves closer than ever.

Feeling inspired to explore? Insdy is your pantry stocked with everything from bondage gear to luxury sex toys. We're here to help you turn your sex menu into a delectable reality!

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