Embracing Your Unique Erotic Signature

It's often said that individuals dress initially for themselves, then perhaps for peers, and lastly for potential partners. This sentiment, grounded in a heterosexual context, underscores a profound truth: the freedom to choose attire that makes us feel inherently self-confident and alluring lies within us.

Despite some resistance to this idea, it's imperative to recognize the subjectivity of allure. The quintessence of what is deemed 'sexy' varies immensely from person to person. While societal norms may dictate preferences like delicate lingerie or favored body shapes, our personal definitions of attractiveness are not bound by these standards.

On National Lingerie Day, April 25th, I invite you to explore and affirm the styles that resonate with your sense of self-assurance and allure. Echoing Audre Lorde's sentiments from 'Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power,' connecting with our erotic selves can profoundly influence our acceptance of being and our life choices.

"...in touch with the erotic, I become less willing to accept powerlessness, or those other supplied states of being which are not native to me, such as resignation, despair, self-effacement, depression, self-denial." - Audre Lorde

Engaging with our erotic energy is transformative, altering how we perceive ourselves and the standards we are willing to accept. Continue reading to discover how to unearth your erotic style and harness your erotic power.

Defining 'Sexy'

What defines sexiness is not just appearance; it's an attitude. The essence of your allure is powered by your demeanor and the vibe you emit. Nonetheless, the clothing you choose plays a pivotal role in bolstering your confidence and, by extension, your erotic energy. Reflect on these inquiries to pinpoint your unique sexy style:

• Which physical features do you take pride in? Consider ways to accentuate these favorite traits.
• What colors, fabrics, or textures stir up sensual feelings for you? Think about the palette and materials that make you feel most erotic.
• What does sexiness mean to you? Is it about being scantily clad, fully dressed, or finding a balance between exposure and concealment?
• Consider how you express your energy. Do you embrace a blend of masculine and feminine energies, or perhaps challenge traditional gender norms? How do your accessories or hairstyles reflect your auto-erotic allure or self-attraction?

Stimulating Ideas for Your Sensual Wardrobe

For those who revel in classic lingerie choices, such as lace teddies or matching sets, the options are plentiful. But for others seeking an alternative route, the possibilities are even more expansive. By broadening the definition of erotic attire, we invite inclusivity for all body types and shapes. Below are some eclectic garment and accessory ideas to inspire your personal version of sexy:

• Fishnet attire
• Boxer shorts
• Opulent silk gloves
• Relaxed-fit pants
• Athletic-inspired bras
• Chic crop tops
• Expressive makeup
• Distinctive piercings
• Oversized shirts or button-ups
• Professional business wear
• Bold haircuts
• Colored body hair
• Minimalist G-string or provocative swimwear
• Solo necktie ensemble
• Translucent robes
• Artistic tattoos

Your sartorial choices don't have to comply with conventional fashion norms. For some, the act of defying these norms is where their sex appeal lies. My top advice? When you feel sexy in your chosen attire (or lack thereof), your confidence will naturally soar, and your innate beauty will shine through.

May you find joy and empowerment in embracing your erotic energy. Share with me your favorite looks on Instagram @yaelthesexgeek.